How I feel a year after finishing chemotherapy.

It is hard to believe that it has been one year since my last chemo. Cancer is such a whirlwind and surreal experience. If you had asked me if I was processing the situation while I was in it, I would say that I was. And, like many other times in my journey, it is yet another time that I was wrong.

I believe I was aware, which is a funny thing to say, but I am phenomenal at compartmentalizing almost any situation. I thrive in that aspect. I was in it, aware, but more concerned about the other people in my world. The show, my show of being fine, was more important to me for both them and if I am being honest, myself!

Finishing Chemotherapy

I have said before, I thought I would have my last chemo and then be off the races. I mean, it would be a week or two, but after that, it would be business as usual....yep, wrong again. Several months after my last chemo, I was still reeling from its effects. My exhaustion was still prevalent, and I had to be very careful about my daily schedule. Now a year out, I still have to watch myself because I can run myself down, but I do not have to be as hyperaware.

My digestion is basically back to normal, but my appetite is still very small. I can be starving and get a plate of food in front of me, eat two bites, and be done. I knew I was not consuming enough food to sustain me for energy and for healing. For the most part, I still eat a lot of the same foods that I ate while in chemo and really focus on eating at home and whole foods.

I was curious about how I was doing with the rest; I was getting into the activity of my daily life. After looking at various options online, I came across the WHOOP device. I am sure there are many others, but that is the one that spoke to me, and I purchased it.

Over the last year, that data has been invaluable to me. Should I know I am tired, yes. Should I know I need to move more, eat more, eat less, meditate, yes to all those things, but I push through whatever is in front of me. While it took a little while to calibrate the WHOOP to me, now that it is, I am slightly addicted to the data. It helps me know when to slow down and when I can push myself.

A year post treatment for breast cancer

Using that data has definitely helped get to where I am today, which is back to pilates one night a week and doing P.Volve 1-3 nights per week. I know it might not sound like much to someone who has never experienced this, but for me, this is huge. I feel stronger and more like myself. Did I expect it to take me this long to get here? Absolutely not, but I am thrilled to be where I am, on my next journey in life.

For those who might be wondering how the hair is? Most of it has grown back and filled in. The crown of my head is on the struggle bus, though. I have used so many products and gone to spas, but it is taking its own time. I keep telling myself that as long as it comes back, I will be patient, but it's hard.

My thin patch of hair is a constant reminder every time I look in the mirror. I have faith, it will come back, my sisters did, but I know this might be all I get. If so, I will be thankful for my situation. Many women do not have the luxury of how much hair I have.

One of the biggest changes, my port is out! My Oncologist left the decision up to me. Truthfully, I went back and forth, but decided that I hated the stress and the pain of the port flushes. The actual flush did not hurt, but the accessing was painful. My port has always been a pain for the oncology nurses to access, which left both the nurses and myself in a toss up as to who it was more painful on. I was so nervous to get it out, but it really wasn't that bad. I wrote an individual post about the whole experience.

I also have began a GLP-1 after talking with several of my doctors, friends who work with these medications daily and doing my own research. I know there is a significant amount of controversy surrounding these medications, and everyone has to do their own research plus talk to their medical team to decide what is best for them. For me, it came down to quality of life. The GLP-1's have been helpful mitigating my pain associated with the medications that I am currently taking which prevent my body from making estrogen. Is my pain 100% gone, no, but I am not in so much pain that even applying pressure to my gas pedal and walking doesn't hurt like it did before.

All in all, I am happy with where I am. My nature is to always be better, or want more, but I know how much can happen in a year. I am looking ahead to next year at this time. Focusing on what I need to be doing now, what I can control, and excited to see where 2027 Tara is at in this journey!