Completing a cycle of chemo is not easy, but it is wonderful to have it behind you! For many cancer patients, like myself, this is only the completion of the first step in your Cancer treatment.
No surprise, cancer journeys are tough and you will never understand how tough they are unless you are the person with cancer. The ups and downs and trying to figure it all out is beyond overwhelming, there truly are no words. As I have shared, my first rounds went pretty well, or at least that was what I thought. I had nothing to compare them to. As some of you might know, chemo is cumulative and there is a distinct difference after you climb the proverbial chemo hill, and let me tell you, it doesn't get better when you get to the other side.
Looking back, I would say that my first three rounds went phenomenal, because my last three were brutal, especially rounds five and six. Being on the downhill, I thought adrenaline might take over and carry me through the finish line. In short, I got through it, but it was not easy!
Round five came and went, but the aftermath caught me off guard. In my previous infusions, it would take me about a week to "clear" the chemo and meds and begin to feel better. This time, that didn't happen. As I passed days six and seven I worried if I was ever going to feel better. It was virtually impossible to keep food in me and it was the first time I felt like I was sick. The doctors gave me some new meds and even though, the meds did help, something changed.
I am so thankful I was able to have my cancer treatments in Manhattan, KS. It made it so much easier to see my doctors, go to appointments, and be only minutes from home!
The way this round messed with me mentally was new and something I wasn't prepared for. Thanks to my father, my mental toughness doesn't ever falter, so when it got shaken a little, I was confused. I kept telling myself that I just needed to get through it and it would get better, but that "better" wouldn't come for almost three weeks, right before it was time to go in for another round. In my mind, I wondered if this is what women who were on chemo every two weeks felt like all the time. I always got that week, week, and half of a relief week so this just sucked.
Then, it was here, round six, my final round! I was pumped, my sister came to town and I could not begin to tell you how excited I was to put this chapter of life behind me. I went in for my sixth infusion on March 27th and felt great. We had a good day, I ate normally without losing my lunch for lack of a better term. I slept great that night, no chemo face the next day for my follow-up shot, then Saturday I was up and about almost all day. I was relieved and thought my fifth round was a fluke! Long story short, I was wrong, so, so, wrong!
After my sixth round of chemo, it was rough! This was a couple of weeks after, I had turned a corner.
On Sunday my sister decided to head home, I was doing well and she wanted to stop and see my parents on her way home. She left, I did a few more things and then we started to pay attention to the weather. It was a stormy Sunday in Kansas. We ran some errands and I started to feel a little tired. Since I was trying to be better about not pushing myself too hard I laid down to rest.
About thirty minutes after I laid down, everything changed. My bones started to hurt like they did after my first round. I could feel my muscles tense like they were trying to protect my body from what was happening. I started to get that feeling that every cancer patient knows. The churning of the stomach, the dizziness, and the warming of your body, and you know what comes next.
I tried to fight it and kept breathing, but it was no use, I could not believe how sick I was. The days turned into weeks, and anything I consumed left me almost instantaneously. My weight dropped 17 pounds in about 8 days and by the following Saturday morning, my legs from my knees down to my toes were so cramped up that I could barely walk. The pain from the cramping was awful, one charley horse at night sucks, but to have it be both legs and all your toes cramping, it is almost impossible to focus your mind past what is happening.
It was clear that the IV bag I had gotten only days before and the additional liquids I was consuming were not helping. My husband finally stopped me from being stubborn and said we were going to get another IV. Since it was Saturday morning I wasn't sure about availability around town, but we called Hydration IV and they got me in super quickly! After visiting with Olivia and Annie we decided what IV I would receive and then I waited for it to be mixed.
Annie is amazing, I have horrible veins that are tiny, and deep, and they roll. It is not easy to stick me and with how dehydrated I was I had no clue where or how they were going to do this. One stick and Annie had it and I was off, I am pretty sure when she got me on the first stick I heard angels singing I was so relieved. About an hour and a half later I had finished the bag of fluids and almost instantly felt a little better. I had lost so much in terms of water weight, but also vitamins and nutrients, it was going to take a while to get it all back.
Do not be afraid to ask about IV Fluids during chemotherapy, they can make a huge difference!
The following Monday came and my nurse checked in with me. When I told her about the weekend events she asked my thoughts on another bag of fluids, I quickly replied, that it sounded good. She also told me they would be running additional tests on me and calling in a new prescription. I was still unable to eat much and nothing was staying with me. My weight was still way down, which I knew was water weight so I headed in for another IV and to also pick up my new prescription.
This bag, now my third round of fluids in five days helped a little bit more, and once I started taking the new meds I started to turn a corner. Another week went by and I was able to gain back half my lost water weight. Three weeks later, and getting closer to my surgery date I was nervous that if I wasn't better they might push my surgery. Thankfully, after talking with my doctor they said they would not move my surgery as long as I was not getting worse.
After my third week post-infusion number six, things started to look up. I was able to eat something other than my "safe foods." What I ate started to stick with me and my weight was back to my pre-infusion number six.
Thank God I thought, I have turned the corner. Now I just had to keep getting my strength back and then make it through surgery. The end of the tunnel was in sight and I was so thankful, all I wanted was to get my life back. One of the hardest things about having cancer is watching your friends and family move on with their everyday lives while you are stuck in what feels like a Groundhog Day nightmare!
