My journey and what my life was like three months after chemo!
I completed chemo on March 20, 2025, and honestly, that day feels like a lifetime ago. Since my diagnosis on November 2, 2023, I’ve been in full-throttle fight mode—powered by grit and a whole lot of “fake it till you make it.” I knew I couldn’t pull off “amazing,” but I could pull off “good,” and for a long time, that felt like enough. Three months after my last chemo, I feel better, but I know I still have a long way to go.
Like most cancer patients, I didn’t want the people who love me to worry. And as an entrepreneur, I didn’t want my diagnosis to affect my business. One of my biggest fears was that people would stop calling me for work, either because they didn’t want to bother me or didn’t think I was up for it. That just wasn’t an option. My business depends on those calls. So "the show" had to go on. Thankfully, I managed chemo and its aftermath better than some, though not as well as I wanted to, but I made it through, and I’m proud of that.
I learned a lot during this journey, and none of it was what I expected. My dad always believed in teachable moments, and I figured there would be lessons in this, but I still wasn’t prepared. When my sister was diagnosed, she told me she hoped she would be my “red light”—my signal to slow down and start taking better care of myself. Sadly, she wasn’t. I had to run straight through my own red light.
What to expect after chemotherapy
Our parents raised us to be resilient. They taught us how to face hard things head-on. They let us fall, let us struggle, and only stepped in after we’d tried every possible solution ourselves. That kind of parenting has shaped who we are. It’s why my sister and I have been able to handle whatever life has thrown at us, which has been a lot lately, in addition to cancer.
Here’s one of the hard truths: when you're battling cancer, some people will ghost you. It hurts. But others, the ones you didn’t expect, will rally. You can’t let the pain from those who disappear overshadow the strength of those who show up. Life is about meeting people where they are and learning who you want to be in the process. Let people respond however they will. Then make sure to celebrate those who stayed. They are your roots. And let me tell you, my roots are deeper than an oak tree.
During treatment, all you can think about is getting to the finish line. But once you get there, the exhaustion hits in a way no one warns you about. Yes, I was tired during chemo, but this is different. It’s a mix of lingering side effects, the toll of the fight, and finally letting your body exhale after months in survival mode.
Being an entrepreneur and having cancer
Other cancer survivors told me it would take time to feel “normal” again. Being as stubborn as I am, I’ve given myself a deadline, so we’ll see if I hit it. But no matter what, I’m giving myself the grace I didn’t offer myself before. Rest is no longer something I feel guilty about. It’s something I honor.
I think about the “before” version of me. I wish I could sit her down and have a long talk. Being a self-employed woman and the primary breadwinner comes with pressures, some external, but a lot internal. I can now see that I placed so many expectations on myself. And while I can’t undo that past, I can say this: I’m not going back.
My old work schedule? Literally 24/7. It had to be all or nothing. Now? That mindset doesn’t serve me anymore. I still work hard, probably harder than most, but I also rest. If I’m tired, I take a break. I no longer force myself to power through. I know where that life got me, and I’ve got zero interest in returning there.
One of the biggest challenges has been finding my rhythm again with friends and daily life. Before cancer, I didn’t get it. I’d hear people talk about how different things feel afterward, but now, I understand. Life keeps moving for everyone else. They’re in their flow. And even though it’s unintentional, you feel left behind. Then, when the dust settles, you realize that you're not just recovering from cancer—you’re trying to figure out who you are now.
Choosing my peace, to live fully and to be a collector of memories
From what I’ve seen, most people take one of two paths after cancer: either they try to control everything, or they realize control is an illusion. I started in the first camp, all about control. I tried to grab the reins, organize, plan, and micromanage every aspect I could of my life. It felt like the right thing at the time. But eventually, I had a little come-to-Jesus meeting with myself. I took a deep breath and remembered: my destiny was set long ago. I have free will, sure, but I’m here for a purpose and a time. When that time is up, it’s up. So I’ve let go of trying to control the timeline and started focusing on enjoying the ride.
I’ve always loved the saying, “Build a life you don’t need a vacation from.” That hits differently for me now. I’m building a life that allows me to breathe deeply, not just keep climbing some never-ending ladder. I still have goals. I still want to be successful. But I no longer chase people who don’t respect my time or expect others to be constantly “on.” I’m done pushing through things that don’t serve me.
These days, I’m fiercely protective of my peace and my space with the hope that others follow the same.
