Below is my list of the top 10 things I learned from my cancer journey.
Life is wild and can throw us curveballs; for me, one of the biggest ones was my cancer journey. When I first heard my doctor say the words, "It is cancer," my world stopped. I knew I had no choice but to turn into the storm and face it head-on, but it was a chink in my armor that I was not prepared to have exposed.
While most of my list, many people who read this will think, "duh, of course," but I tell you, I thought I knew these things before. I will be the first one to tell you I didn't. I think many of these things you only learn once you go through something so earth-shaking that it reframes your entire being.
Here are the top 10 things I have learned during my cancer journey:
1. Your Health is Truly Everything
I always knew health was important, but I didn’t fully grasp how much until it was on the line. Cancer made me appreciate my body in a new way. I learned to listen to it, nourish it, and respect what it was going through. If you don’t have your health, nothing else matters.
2. Mindset is a Powerful Tool
There were days when I felt strong, and there were days when I felt like giving up. Mindset makes the difference in everything. I knew that even when I couldn’t control my circumstances, I could control how I approached them. I tried to center my thoughts on gratitude, and believing in my ability to keep going changed everything.
3. Taking Care of your Mental Health matters
To me, mindset and mental health are two very different things. I knew that I had to prioritize my mental health. My mental health is calm when I am working, being social, and helping others. Some days it was just going to my office and sitting, scrolling online, but other days it was engaging with work and others. I am thankful that I have a job that allows me to ebb and flow as needed with a significant amount of support.
4. People Will Surprise You—In Good and Bad Ways
One of the hardest lessons was realizing that not everyone in my life was going to show up the way I expected. Some people disappeared, unsure of what to say or do. But others? They stepped up in ways I never imagined. I continually reminded myself that life is constantly meeting people where THEY are.
The other day, I heard you have three types of friends: leaves, branches, and roots. Your leaf friends are casual acquaintances, the branches are friends who are there for big events to show support, and your roots are your most essential and supportive. Just like a tree, you need all of them, and through my cancer journey. I definitely learned who my leaves, branches, and roots.
5. Self-Care is Non-Negotiable
I used to think it was a sign of success to work 24/7 and reply instantly to everything. Being self-employed, it is almost a learned behavior. Then, during treatment and being forced by those close to me, I had no choice but to put myself first.
Here’s the thing: we should all be prioritizing self-care, and we should be encouraging others to practice self-care. Cancer taught me to prioritize rest, set boundaries, and do what I needed to feel good, whether that was a nap in the middle of the day, reading, cooking, or binge-watching TV. Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s survival, and I have learned that the real sign of success is being able to take time, after all, it is our most precious commodity.
6. Your Body is Stronger Than You Think
I won’t sugarcoat it—there were times when I felt weak and exhausted beyond words. But even on the hardest days, my body sent me signals letting me know things were going to be ok. I learned to be amazed by its resilience. Even when I was nervous that it would never be the same, I spent time talking to myself, and my body, reminding myself/it that we just had to get through this and that everything would be ok.
7. To Slow-Down
Before cancer, I was always on the move. When I would get in my car, it was a race to beat Google Maps to my destination. At the grocery store, I would speed walk through the aisles, like I was playing my own personal version of the old TV show, Supermarket Sweep. But my journey forced me to slow down and realize life wasn't a race, and those few minutes I was pushing myself so I could get one more thing done were not adding up enough to be worth the cost. I found how much more I enjoy the sound of laughter, the warmth of a hug, the tactile touch of working in my garden, the sun on my skin, and the taste of my favorite meal. These are the things that truly make life beautiful.
8. Fear is Real, But So is Courage
I don't think I was ever scared, but there were times I was nervous; there’s no denying that. But I also know that courage isn’t the absence of fear—it’s moving forward despite it. My dad always told us to, "Keep our meeting moving and everything will be ok." It was something I held onto, that I just needed to stay in motion, and everything would figure itself out. Every scan, every treatment, every difficult moment, I reminded myself that fear didn’t define me. I could feel it, I recognized it, took a deep breath, and still kept moving forward.
9. Advocating for Yourself is a Must and Be Honest
No one knows your body like you do, and it’s important to speak up and make sure you get the care you deserve. I was blessed with an amazing care team that was super responsive and always got back to me within the day, but I did have to be 100% open and honest about what was happening to my body, and that is tough.
When you are diagnosed with cancer, every lump, bump, and rough patch of skin is more cancer. There was a time when I felt something, and I spoke to my doctors, surgeon, dermatologist, nurses, and whoever else would listen. Everyone was unanimous and didn't think it was a tumor, but I couldn't get it out of my head. Fortunately, my oncologist understood and ordered a biopsy. Peace of mind is everything, and don't be afraid to keep asking. Spoiler alert: the medical professionals were correct.
10. Life is Meant to Be Lived
While this was something I had always known, cancer changed me in ways I never expected. It gave me a new appreciation for life and a fresh perspective on where I want my life to go. I no longer wait for the "right time" to do things. I chase joy, say yes to new experiences, hold my loved ones a little tighter, and have decided to become a collector of memories. Life is unpredictable, but that just means we need to make the most of every single moment.
My cancer journey wasn’t one I ever wanted, but it taught me more than I could have imagined. It gave me strength, perspective, and a deeper appreciation for life and the people in it. If you’re going through something similar, know this—you are not alone. You are stronger than you think, and no matter what, remember, hope springs eternal.
